The Lying King

Just when I think we have it semi figured out and finally ready to move on, here you come with all your bullshit.

I don’k think it’s fair for you to make all these rules for me, but when it comes to yourself and I ask for those same boundaries in return you look at me like I am talking out of my ass. You need to stop playing games and figure out what your issues, because I am sick of being on the receiving end of all this back and forth. Yeah I have issues too, but at least I am alone and slowly chipping away at them, while you on the other hand are running around behind your girlfriend’s back and cheating on her every chance you get. Get a fuckin clue and stop hurting everyone else in your escapades. Nevermind me, but our daughter looked up to you so much before all this mess. Now all she knows you for is trip to the zoo and disappointment. You will never understand how hard it is to see her face drop when I have to tell her you’re canceling on her again because you made last minute plans and didn’t tell me. The countless nights I have had to spend staying up and holding her little hand because she was having trouble breathing due to her asthma flare up. I potty trained our autistic daughter all on my OWN and what do you do? You go and leave her potty at your house knowing damn well how much I needed it. Why? Because you’re selfish and don’t care about anyone but yourself, even after I text you to remind you several times and still you left me hanging yet again.

What’s really sad is I used to blame myself for your unhappiness and cheating ways. I would sit there late at night while you slept and would ask myself what I can do to make you want me more. The verbal and mental abuse I put up with from you is so sad, looking back I legit pity myself because there is no way I would have ever allowed that from anyone else, love or not and you knew. You took advantage of my love in so many ways and even now I struggle with knowing when you’re sincere or bluffing. I can say honestly I am not fully over the breakup and learn every day to let go little by little and not look back. I also know one day I will be moved on from all this and healed and won’t ever need to rely on you for anything. You really are a weak and sad pathetic excuse for a so called man. It is not my job or anyone else’s to make you into something you are NOT. You are responsible for your own happiness and until you learn that, you will keep plowing through hookers and any other hoes you find in your way.

No matter what has happened and will, I am trying to be better and will still wish you well. Just don’t ever come to me again for anything because that bridge is burned for good and you can’t swim so all hope is lost for us ever reconnecting and coming back if that was even a possibility, not that I wanted that really, but you are the father of my kid and apart of me will always want my family together, but alas that isn’t in the cards for us and I am okay with that. I just hope we co parent and stay out of each other’s way, you more so than me. I will always have love for you, but I stick to what I said. I really hope you get help and find what you’re looking for before it’s to late. You don’t want to be so focused on what comes next that you miss out on the here and now, the beautiful little moments and blink and then you’re 45 with a drinking problem. However, I can only say what I wish and hope for, in the end it us up to you. In the mean time I will be here focusing on me and being the best mom and dad I can be for our daughter because she needs that. I may not have as much as you right now, but I am focused on the bigger picture and setting myself for the future, so before you try to put me down again just remember it is ME who is holding it down for myself as well as our daughter, with no help from you or family, I am doing my best and if it wasn’t for me sacrificing everything, your life would really be hard and you wouldn’t have half of what you have now. I have given up having a social life as well as dating because our daughter comes first and when the day comes for her to flee the nest she will know who was really there for her.